i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
