Umm I'm too high to move.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
