I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
