4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
