Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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