i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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