Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
