I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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