I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
