So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize