I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize