these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
