i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
