but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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