i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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