? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
