My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
