Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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