If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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