everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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