I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
