did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize