I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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