I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
