I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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