oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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