We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
