Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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