i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
