And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
