In the future we'll all be gay
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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