something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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