What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
