So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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