she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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