Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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