i think my mom watched the whole time
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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