My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
