I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
