My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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