Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
