Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize