Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
