who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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