I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize