Porn is love you can see.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
