I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
