bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
