Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
