Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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