I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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