We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
