I smell stomach acid.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Randomize
