yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
