look no pants
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
