yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
