North Korea, Best Korea!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
