I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
