Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Church boner. Awkwardddd
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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