I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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