How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
