birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize