my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
