Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize