I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
