You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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