Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize