I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize