My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize