i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
