If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
