My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
