Me too!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize