My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
