You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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