i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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