Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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