I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
bring money and cleavage
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
