Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize