so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
