wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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