We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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