Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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