Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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