We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my being single is dangerous.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
