She's JV to your varsity
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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