I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
