escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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