Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
