I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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